Some mid-sky ponderings

I’m en route on my flight to New York, and I have a feeling that I’m somewhere over the Midwest because we are about an hour and a half away from landing. I passed out at the very beginning of my flight and just woke up. And guess what? It wasn’t on the middle aged Asian man that I’m sitting next to. I don’t know if I’ve told many people about the time that once en route to Chicago I passed up and woke up realized I was entirely sleeping on the shoulder very attractive 26 or something year old businessman sitting next to me. I mean I wasn’t laying on his lap by any means but my head was just resting on his right shoulder as he was typing away on his computer. Instead of getting up quickly and apologizing frantically, I realized that there was only about 15 minutes left before we landed, so just “rested my eyes” there for the duration of the flight. Once we landed, I jolted back up and said I was so sorry, that I didn’t realize I did it. He just smiled at me and it was fine and he hoped that I had sweet dreams. Definitely saved for an awkward 15 minutes at the end of the flight if I would have had to sit next too him completely embarrassed. But seriously. What a babe, right? I wonder what he’s up to these days, and if he ever thinks of me when he jets around.

Anyway if I fell asleep next to this guy on my left he would probably grunt under his breath and push me away with one of his loafers on the ground that he removed from his feet for the flight. Or pour his second coffee with three sugars in my hair. I know he isn’t reading this as I type because he is feigning interest into the episode of the office that they are playing on the TVs. He doesn’t seem like the type to normally watch TV. He rubs his neck with his thumb and pointer fingers and gazes out the window as if he is anxious to get off, get on with his life. It’s kind of bizarre to be suspended in the air. None of us can go anywhere, we can’t effect what is happening below us, or what the world will be like when we land.

After I land I will have about 3 hours left in America. I will probably scrounge the airport for some apples. All-American meal right there! I wonder how many apples I will be able to find in Spain. I will thoroughly miss my South Dining Hall sliced apples overflowing the small scratchy brown bowls that I have been washed by thousands of different hands behind the tray conveyor. Random thought, but I’ve always wanted to write a little note and leave it on my tray saying thank you with a little note of encouragement on it. I’m definitely going to do that when I get back to school.

I’m already missing my family, incredibly. When I left this morning it didn’t feel like I wasn’t going to see them for months. I know my mom cried on the way back from the airport to home, and probably will get teary-eyed again when she goes in my bright yellow room and sees stray pieces of clothing draped over my unmade made. I love you, mom! I may not be home, but I never won’t be your daughter. You’re stuck with me, lady, and I love you with all my heart even though you gave Kari a corset and not me!! Just kidding, we know she will get more use from it anyway (:

ALSO! I thought that I left my ipods at home, but I finally just found them, they slipped into a little pocket of my backpack. Hallelujah. Celebrate the little things.

always yours, warmly and loving,

Kjerstin

i'll get out of california...

So as I was running around my town this morning I realized there are somethings that I love about living in La Canada.

1. That I actually could be running outside in shorts and a tee on the 10th of january, soak in the sunshine, and not suffer from seasonal affectiveness disorder.

2. Pasadena. It's the perfect sized city and its simply gorgeous. I love being able to do laps around the Rose Bowl (saying my prayers that Notre Dame will soon be there !!) and being able to run into Old Town for some circus animal cookie frozen yogurt. I love the architecture, the library, the restaurants and the $2 movie theatre. I could go there everyday for a year and find something new.

3. I can't go anywhere without running into someone I know. It's a curse yes, especially days like today where I just am in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt with my hair up in a ponytail, but it really is a blessing--I feel like I'm part of a family. Think about it, why do we really want to be anonymous? Why don't we actually try to talk to the people we see on the streets, help us check out our groceries, and let us know when we've dropped something? It's kind of bizarre that anonymity is so acceptable in life.

4. I love the foothills and the mountains in the distance. It's a reminder that I really am so small, and that God is so much bigger than all of my worries. The fact that I can see snow capped mountains without having to deal with South Bend windchill and blizzards is a miracle.

5. Lastly, 1523 Alta Park Lane. It's my home. I remember the day I discovered this house online in Chicago, with my parents hovered over my shoulders. I wouldn't know at the time that the 20 screen sized pictures on the website would be of rooms that I would fill with my own memories. I love the family room that can fit all seven members of my family comfortably on our sectional as we watch movies, football, and play beatles rockband. I love that we have three fireplace in a house where it doesnt get below 30 degrees outside.

This is my last night in La Canada for a while so I thought it would be fitting to give it some loving. I remember the first nights I spent here I cried myself to sleep wishing I were anywhere else, but now I spend my last nights with bittersweet tears. It's tough saying good-bye. But it would be even more sad if I didn't feel any emotion at all. It's never really good-bye though, I'll be here all summer long, and will be so ready to become a little sunkissed beach bum. Before California falls of the face of the earth... when is that happening again??

yours,

kjerstin renee

Here we gooo

my gemss!


So I would like to begin this post by saying that I tend to be a very disciplined as well as ambitious person. So why I have failed TWICE at beginning to blog is beyond me. It's unacceptable. And the third time is a charm. I'm starting to blog so that I can journal my study abroad experience for you all who want to read it, but more importantly for me. To push myself and write about what moves me, changes me, and enlivens my soul.

I've always been jealous of Emily Dickinson. (She was the first serious poet I ever chose to read on my own--besides Dr. Seuss, of course, and because of this I've always thought of her as 'my poet.' So back off). Anyway, if you haven't seriously read her. Do it. She's brilliant. So brilliant that it makes me both awestruck and jealous. It's a good thing we come from different times, or else we wouldn't get along. Sorry, Em. This blog is going to be the hard, honest truth. Anyway, she has a way of putting the complexities of her life and her soul into words, and it's timeless. It's powerful. It's a talent I wish I had. She was able to seclude herself entirely from people and make words, poetry, and letters her world. I could never do that. I love people too much. That's right, you. I'll say it because people don't say it enough-- you're great, whoever you are. And I'm sure I could talk your head off like I'm doing now.

Anyway, I'm rambling. This is going to be disastrous. I'll get better. Anyway, I hope that through this blog I can seclude myself just a bit, and slow down and really but my thoughts and feelings into words, and if it's even a tiny fraction as inspiring as what Emily has said, then I would happily die in a second. Anyway I was looking at some of my favorite poems and came across the perfect one. So kjerstin. I think you'll see why.

It's called "I held a jewel" and its from part three of her complete collections, "Love."

I HELD a jewel in my fingers
And went to sleep.
The day was warm, and winds were prosy;
I said: “’T will keep.”
I woke and chid my honest fingers,—	5
The gem was gone;
And now an amethyst remembrance
Is all I own.

So I'm going to Spain in two days, and traveling Europe. My goal is to cherish every moment, take every risk, and bask in each day's beauty. Every day is a day that we won't have back, and I will kick myself if I don't take advantage of living in Europe. I'm opening my eyes and my heart to a country and a people that I know will change me. And I absolutely cannot wait. I'm not ready by any stretch of the imagination-- you should see my growing to do list... but I'm definitely exhilarated.

On a related note, this past semester was seriously a GEM. I loved all my classes, learned an abundance of information, challenged myself, and definitely grew up. Being away from home for seven months was not easy, but will make my transition to Spain so much easier. I have amazing friends. I think its funny to read my last post because it was just as I was leaving California to go back to school for the summer. I don't even remember writing it to be completely honest, but it's crazy how I talked about being called to be there. I couldn't have been more right. I had an awesome job--more challenging than I thought, but allowed me to opportunity to spend time at one of my favorite places in the entire world. There seriously isn't anything else like it, and I am so blessed that I have been given the opportunity to go there that I really should never complain about anything the rest of my life. I am so lucky. Also this past summer I was able to deepen friendships I had already had, and find friendships that I never thought I would have. I could not imagine myself without some of these people. They aren't just my friends, but they're my family. I feel like I'm speaking in cliches, but I know that everything happens for a reason, and my life is living proof of that. I know that I cannot take these gems with my to Spain, and hold them in my hands, but I know that the memories I have are not going anywhere. We're all growing up, but we're all getting better with age. As long as we remember to push ourselves and not give up on our desires. Too many people settle with mediocrity, but I know that with hard work and prayers you can achieve anything.

Anyway, I think that this is enough for a first real blog entry. I'll write more tomorrow, and I'm sorry for the randomness. But you have to start somewhere.

Peace and blessings !!!

chao chao mis queridos! besos, kjerstin

summer is a time for new adventures

hey babies. so here is my first real blog entry. i finished my second year at the university of notre dame in early may and was able to go home for a few weeks before i moved back into pangborn hall to manage the dorm for the summer! it's going to be a great opportunity, and i really feel called to be here this summer--i don't know exactly why, but i can't wait for everything it will bring. i love california. so much. i never wanted to admit it, but it's my home. look at all the beautiful things that california has brought into my life.








ps! i just realized that it was exactly ONE year ago that I blogged for the first time and failed. what a coincidence. it's going down now. get readdyyy

hey everyone! i don't even know who comes and looks at this but this is my first post ever. and i promise this summer i will become a pro at blogging. you will come to this site in awe and wonder. so we are all just waiting for that day. but here i comeee!

loveloveee,

kjerstin!