Here we gooo

my gemss!


So I would like to begin this post by saying that I tend to be a very disciplined as well as ambitious person. So why I have failed TWICE at beginning to blog is beyond me. It's unacceptable. And the third time is a charm. I'm starting to blog so that I can journal my study abroad experience for you all who want to read it, but more importantly for me. To push myself and write about what moves me, changes me, and enlivens my soul.

I've always been jealous of Emily Dickinson. (She was the first serious poet I ever chose to read on my own--besides Dr. Seuss, of course, and because of this I've always thought of her as 'my poet.' So back off). Anyway, if you haven't seriously read her. Do it. She's brilliant. So brilliant that it makes me both awestruck and jealous. It's a good thing we come from different times, or else we wouldn't get along. Sorry, Em. This blog is going to be the hard, honest truth. Anyway, she has a way of putting the complexities of her life and her soul into words, and it's timeless. It's powerful. It's a talent I wish I had. She was able to seclude herself entirely from people and make words, poetry, and letters her world. I could never do that. I love people too much. That's right, you. I'll say it because people don't say it enough-- you're great, whoever you are. And I'm sure I could talk your head off like I'm doing now.

Anyway, I'm rambling. This is going to be disastrous. I'll get better. Anyway, I hope that through this blog I can seclude myself just a bit, and slow down and really but my thoughts and feelings into words, and if it's even a tiny fraction as inspiring as what Emily has said, then I would happily die in a second. Anyway I was looking at some of my favorite poems and came across the perfect one. So kjerstin. I think you'll see why.

It's called "I held a jewel" and its from part three of her complete collections, "Love."

I HELD a jewel in my fingers
And went to sleep.
The day was warm, and winds were prosy;
I said: “’T will keep.”
I woke and chid my honest fingers,—	5
The gem was gone;
And now an amethyst remembrance
Is all I own.

So I'm going to Spain in two days, and traveling Europe. My goal is to cherish every moment, take every risk, and bask in each day's beauty. Every day is a day that we won't have back, and I will kick myself if I don't take advantage of living in Europe. I'm opening my eyes and my heart to a country and a people that I know will change me. And I absolutely cannot wait. I'm not ready by any stretch of the imagination-- you should see my growing to do list... but I'm definitely exhilarated.

On a related note, this past semester was seriously a GEM. I loved all my classes, learned an abundance of information, challenged myself, and definitely grew up. Being away from home for seven months was not easy, but will make my transition to Spain so much easier. I have amazing friends. I think its funny to read my last post because it was just as I was leaving California to go back to school for the summer. I don't even remember writing it to be completely honest, but it's crazy how I talked about being called to be there. I couldn't have been more right. I had an awesome job--more challenging than I thought, but allowed me to opportunity to spend time at one of my favorite places in the entire world. There seriously isn't anything else like it, and I am so blessed that I have been given the opportunity to go there that I really should never complain about anything the rest of my life. I am so lucky. Also this past summer I was able to deepen friendships I had already had, and find friendships that I never thought I would have. I could not imagine myself without some of these people. They aren't just my friends, but they're my family. I feel like I'm speaking in cliches, but I know that everything happens for a reason, and my life is living proof of that. I know that I cannot take these gems with my to Spain, and hold them in my hands, but I know that the memories I have are not going anywhere. We're all growing up, but we're all getting better with age. As long as we remember to push ourselves and not give up on our desires. Too many people settle with mediocrity, but I know that with hard work and prayers you can achieve anything.

Anyway, I think that this is enough for a first real blog entry. I'll write more tomorrow, and I'm sorry for the randomness. But you have to start somewhere.

Peace and blessings !!!

chao chao mis queridos! besos, kjerstin